Back in November of 2007, we introduced the CounterForce Technique for fighting filling creep. The gist of it is that to keep all your fillings, you need to use your fingers to push against your bite to keep them in your sandwich. While it often works well, there are some sandwiches that are just plain unruly: Yeah, I’m looking straight at you avocado*! Be ashamed! How are we supposed to deal with these miscreants? We certainly can’t use a fork and mop up the plate after they’ve run away and we can’t avoid them altogether (they ARE delicious). Never fear, we can capture ALL the fillings by simply Patrolling the Border!
Patrolling the Border lets you mix whatever slippery fillings you want and always get them before they fall! It takes a bit of practice and speed, but it’s got a good learning curve. Let’s review what happens to our fillings when we dine on ‘wichs:
It’s depressing even to think about. Look at all those fillings just getting away, running for the plate. I’m tearing up, I can’t take it, let’s move on.
It’s the horizontal part of our bite force that pushes the fillings out! This will happen as long as our teeth aren’t perfectly straight and we can’t break the sandwich perfectly. Maybe we should sharpen our teeth so we can bite only vertically? Put your files away there’s an easier solution…
Instead of fighting the slide as the CounterForce Technique dictates, this solution gives into the slide only to catch them on the other end. You bite around the sandwich, catching and reversing the flow of fillings, slowly building a star out of your sandwich. Lots of us do this without thinking about it, when pure animal instinct kicks in, “Hey gravity, I see you taking my fillings! Give them back you greedy bastard! KAPOW! Take THAT!” This technique practically guarantees that you won’t miss any fillings. The challenge is that as you bite around the ‘wich, the fillings become more exposed and your hand-holds less abundant. It also makes you look a little silly (to people who don’t value sandwiches enough) while you tilt your head to catch the runaways. Have no shame about patrolling the border, it’s a perfectly acceptable way to maximize your sandwich — the real shame is having to clean up your plate afterward!
Anyone patrol on a regular basis? How does it treat you and your sandwiches?
*(To keep avocado in your sandwich, cut it up into small chunks with lots of edges or make guacamole and spread it thinly. Avoid slices at all costs!)