Short of baking the bread and smoking the ham, we cooked everything from scratch. Sure it took a while, but anything else might taint the beautiful potential of the axis of pork. We grabbed: challah rolls, fresh pork cutlets, black forest smoked ham, potatoes, gruyere and some eggs. In short: warm the oil, fry the potatos, pound and bread the pork, fry the pork, fry the french fries, melt the cheese, construct the sandwich and worship the swine. [Update, 8/2/09: Somehow in my porky-delusion I forgot to mention that we fried everything in a mixture of duck-fat and oil! Why not, right?]

Mr Bourdain wasn’t kidding. This sandwich is mind-blowing! The roll starts the taste off soft and slightly eggy, the smoked ham gives a nice cool texture and then the cutlet provides crunch and heft, the bacon more crunch and butter and the egg and gruyere give it a wonderful finish. I couldn’t talk much during the sandwich other than to mumble incoherently while my brain tried to unravel the explosion of flavors and the synapses untangled. Yes, it’s that good.

On the show, the chef said a bartender made it one night to sober a few people up. I had an extra sandwich from the night before and set out to see how well it works. After a few vodka tonics, I can report that there is no finer sobering-food than the three little pigs. Everything about this sandwich just soaks up the booze and leaves you ready to rub your eyes, scrub up and walk into the operating room with a clear head and a steady hand. Okay, maybe not THAT good, but it’s pretty incredible. (Plus it tastes like magic.)

I can’t (and won’t) say that it’s the best sandwich in America, but it’s definitly on the short-list! Go forth and celebrate the 3 little pigs!

Nearly Finished:

Awaiting an Egg:

In Process

Plated:

The sandwiches by definition aren’t that bad, but the construction is awful. The tapenade soaks through, the chicken is mushified by veggies, and the side salads are soggy (who wants side salad? If I wanted a salad I would have ordered one!). The only upside was that the bread was perfectly toasted and crunchy. Instead of the 12 sandwich offerings on the menu, I would have been much happier with 3 or 4 sandwiches that are done properly: no soggy tapenade, no boring side salad and no mushy fillings that seem like they were scooped from a huge vat made the night before.

Spicy Chicken with mixed greens, cucumber and tomato ($7.95): Cut in a heart. How cute. Too bad they don’t love sandwiches enough to make them delicious AND hearty

It tasted as mushy and pre-chewed as it looks!

Ham and Swiss Croissant ($3.95) The best sandwich of test!

It got a bit flattened during toasting, but it’s was better than being cold:

Vegan Angelique: avocado, mixed greens, tomato, sprouts and olive tapenade on 7 grain bread ($7.95). Look how the olive tapenade soaks through the bread. Gross!

Too much lettuce is pushing all the wet ingredients into the soggy bread!