I have no idea what the name means. Maybe you’re supposed to stand up when you eat? Why bother with the seats then? Was “Sit” taken? Maybe it’s their screenname and Stand1 through Stand3 were already taken? It feels like they knew they were opening a boring burger joint and tried to spruce it up with a super-modern name.

Cynicism aside their menu is obviously loaded with protein: lots of beef patties, cheese, bacon and eggs piled onto buns ranging from $5 to $15. I was starving (hungover) and went all the way by ordering the big kahuna: “Bold Burger”: Brioche, two 7 oz. beef patties, applewood smoked bacon, sauteed onions, American and cheddar cheese, pickle, tomato, chipotle sauce, fried egg for $15.

The server said they only serve it well-done because otherwise it falls apart, gross. It’s so big you can’t get your mouth around it and, come on, you can’t eat a big ass burger like that by taking little pansy bites off the bottom! Regretfully, I put it down and used a knife and fork, truly a sad fate for a hamburger. The bun was pleasantly soft but the beef was grossly over-cooked. The cheese and bacon were tasteless and added a little texture to mix up the chewy ground beef. I realized as I was stuffing bite after bite of over-cooked beef patty and cheese into my face that it’s never a good idea to see ground meat. Sausages and hamburgers should always be shrouded in bun, without it they just look gross all mealy and grey! Aside from the obvious food-coma, the burger was pretty bland.

My friend got the more traditional “Bacon & Egg Cheeseburger”: Beef, crispy applewood smoked bacon, cheddar, hard-boiled egg mayo for $12. He says that the best part about it was that the fillings didn’t fall off the bun. It doesn’t get much more boring than that, not even a word about the taste. Not good Stand4, not good.

I wouldn’t go back except maybe to actually stand up and have a beer.

Poor execution really kills them here:

I know I asked for it, but look at that:

It’s absurd:

How petite by comparison:

From scratch means: You grow your tomato, you grow your lettuce, you cure your own bacon or pancetta, you bake your own bread (wild yeast preferred and gets higher marks but is not required), you make your own mayo. All other embellishments, creative interpretations of the BLT welcome.

He judged the sandwiches based on best photo, best reinterpretation and best overall preparation. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to submit a recipe. Fortunately I have plenty of time to drool over the photos of mouth-watering BLTs.

In his commentary, Ruhlman hits the nail on the head. Most BLTs are too wimpy, the bacon is so slight that it feels more like a veggie sandwich topped with a little sprinkling of tasty pork. Instead he slightly refines the BLT as “[...] a pork belly sandwich, garnished with L, T and mayo.” Yes! It’s a bacon steak sandwich with some incidental accessories. I can’t wait for this bit of wisdom to percolate through the food industry and BLT’s arrive on plates heavy with pork-belly.

Did anyone here enter the contest? Have any other insights on the BLT?

Where do I begin? You’ve gotten so popular these days. Well, you and your twin brother, Pork Belly. Why does he get all the fancy gigs? It seems like every upscale joint in town is dropping him on the menu. Why does he get all the fame? I know it upsets you so, but don’t worry, don’t listen to them. everyone with an ounce of fiscal responsibility knows you are the better Pork. We know you’ve been here all along. You’ve been with us through thick and thin and you’ve never caused trouble. You just stay there, looking pretty, tempting dieters and making everyone smile. I don’t understand why anyone would pay such high prices at such fancy restaurants, when you are so inexplicably delicious. Hell, you even come pre-sliced, in little packages at every grocery store? You can’t say that for Pork Belly! Sure, your brother has a whole inch or two of glistening, delicious fat, but you’ve got some too! You’re no diet food! Don’t get down on yourself, just because he’s getting all the attention. In fact, you have enough fat, that it can be saved and used to bring your rich delicious flavor to other less-impressive meats!

But I’m getting sidetracked. This letter really isn’t about you and your brother. It’s not really about people wasting their money in the midst of what is being called the worst economic climate since the great depression. It’s really about you, bacon.

You play so nicely with a little lettuce and tomato. You compliment eggs and toast. You make salads and soups edible. Hell, you make angels trumpet all by yourself. Bacon, you are welcome in my sandwich any time. Seriously, no matter what happens in this crazy world, you can always count on us.

What I’m really trying to say is: bacon, we love you.

Thanks for visiting. See you soon.

Love,
Simply Sandwiches

PS – Actually, we love your brother too, don’t be jealous.

Bacon Lettuce and Tomato:
- bacon, baked until crispy
- red-leaf lettuce, washed and cut in to bread-sized pieces
- tomato, sliced thin
- white bread, sliced and optionally toasted
- mayonnaise
- mustard

For each sandwich: Mustard and mayo a piece of toast. Top with 3 slices of bacon (folded in half), lettuce, 2 slices of tomato and the other piece of toast. Ascend to heaven. Repeat.

It almost looks small from this angle:

Then Again, maybe not:

Definitely not:

Because when you have extra bacon and left-over bacon fat, what else are you going to do but make burgers?

There are three grilled cheeses on their menu: cheddar with apple and bacon, tallegio, croque monsieur and a croque madam. (They’ve also got a pulled pork sandwich and a sirloin burger, neither of which sound very French.) I sampled both the cheddar and the croque monsieur and both were fantastic, though neither were particularly cheap.

First up, the cheddar with apple and bacon ($15.50). This one was much better than I expected, mostly becuase I hate fruit in my food. But this morsel had only the thinnest slices of apple that were warmed up and only slightly crunchy. Both sides were nicely browned and the cheddar and bacon were fantastic as only cheesy bacon can be. Yum.

The croque monsieur ($16.50) was also amazing. The same bread slices filled with gruyere and prosciutto, pan fried until melted and golden brown, and then slathered with more gruyere. It was like eating a big brick of molten gruyere with veins of prosciutto. I’m not sure about anyone else, but that’s pretty much what I think about when I stare at the floor on the subway: gruyere, gruyere, prosciutto… you know how it goes.

Now I know Artisanal is trying to make their menu friendlier during these harsh economic times, but who are they kidding? $15 for grilled cheese is absurd. Seriously. These sandwiches are fantastic, but unless it’s a special occasion or you want to get a taste of exactly how these sandwiches should taste or you have a mild to strong sandwich obsession, you should make these at home. These are street snacks, after all! Grab some cheese and toast some bread with a little meat and voila.

Artisanal uses top cheeses that really make these sing:

I’m not sure why they chose to serve it on orange paper:

Don’t touch those pickles, they’re NASTY:

See all the cheese? I’d love to die and be reborn as that prosciutto!