Here’s their pitch: fried chicken is delicious; even better with delicious sauces. Okay, that’s how I describe it, I have no idea what their pitch is. It says “Glatt Kosher” where the pitch should be. Maybe it’s something like “Jews love chicken!”? Regardless, it seems like a winner, after all, let’s not be dividers: everyone loves fried chicken! Aside from the kosher-tax-inflated prices, it was very tasty. I tried the Spanish Schnitzel sandwich ($10) which is their lingo for chicken that’s pounded flat, breaded with spicy peppers, deep fried and put into baguette sandwich. I got mine with a side of spicy sauce, though it was more mayo-y than spicy. All together, the sandwich was delicious. The chicken wasn’t overpowering, wasn’t greasy and the other ingredients tasted pretty good (like sauteed onions and pickles) together.

My mind wasn’t blown, but I’d go back. If only the prices were a few bucks cheaper.

First up is the Handwich, a turkey and cheese sandwich cut to look like a hand. Brilliant, what would kids love more than eating gigantic hands? Don’t bite the hand that feeds you or how about a knuckle sandwich, ha ha ha! The package comes with the small handwich, a fruit roll up, Annie’s organic cheese crackers and a bottle of KidFresh branded water. So how was the sandwich? Bland, dry and uneventful. Maybe kids don’t care about sandwiches, or maybe they don’t have the taste buds for flavor, but I think these sandwiches are about as bland as you can get. They taste like what you’d get if you just put bread and turkey and cheese together: dry, bland and dry. Thank god they come with water! Maybe this is a secret plot to get kids to drink water at a young age (and locking them into the bottled water industry).

The second lunchbox is more of the same but in a different shape. It’s a chicken sandwich cut into an adorable teddybear. The package comes with the bearwich, yogurt in a tube (which is really bizarre), cheese crackers and water. Like the handwich, the bearwich is really dry. The chicken is only slightly more moist than the cheese and like before, you’ll be glad you’ve got your water.

Overall, the KidFresh lunchboxes are great for little kids, but not if you want them to grow up as sandwich enthusiasts. Couldn’t they have added a little lettuce, or a tomato or maybe some condiments? For $5 a box, I think they could manage. Buy them for your kids, but don’t bother eating them yourself, I had to eat both boxes to get full.

WichPlot:

Here’s the handwich:

The handwich unpacked:

I wonder who gets to eat the outside of the mold?

Too dry!

The Teddy Chicken

Bearwich:

Look how flattened the bearwich was:

Better luck next time bearwich:

The sandwiches by definition aren’t that bad, but the construction is awful. The tapenade soaks through, the chicken is mushified by veggies, and the side salads are soggy (who wants side salad? If I wanted a salad I would have ordered one!). The only upside was that the bread was perfectly toasted and crunchy. Instead of the 12 sandwich offerings on the menu, I would have been much happier with 3 or 4 sandwiches that are done properly: no soggy tapenade, no boring side salad and no mushy fillings that seem like they were scooped from a huge vat made the night before.

Spicy Chicken with mixed greens, cucumber and tomato ($7.95): Cut in a heart. How cute. Too bad they don’t love sandwiches enough to make them delicious AND hearty

It tasted as mushy and pre-chewed as it looks!

Ham and Swiss Croissant ($3.95) The best sandwich of test!

It got a bit flattened during toasting, but it’s was better than being cold:

Vegan Angelique: avocado, mixed greens, tomato, sprouts and olive tapenade on 7 grain bread ($7.95). Look how the olive tapenade soaks through the bread. Gross!

Too much lettuce is pushing all the wet ingredients into the soggy bread!

In this case the only thing that made this sandwich a sandwich was the inclusion of two slices of bread. I have a hunch that if I asked for chicken, I’d have gotten the same thing without bread. Such disrespect for sandwiches was appalling! Then, through my anger, I took a few bites and was whisked away on a boat ride of sweet, tender, spicy jerk chicken. Yum. Now I see what all the fuss is about. Jerk chicken is delicious. Really delicious. The chickens are roasted above fire with some light seasonings and when ordered are chopped up and smothered in jerk sauce (and potentially put between nasty bread).

The sandwich part was tough for a couple reasons: the chicken still had bones in it and wasn’t readily placed in the bread and the bread was awful. It was tough and thick and completely the opposite of the tender delicious chicken. It hurts me a little to say, but this wasn’t a very good sandwich. It WAS mind-blowingly good chicken. (So good it persuaded my vegetarian girlfriend to indulge).

Jerk:

Another Jerk:

I’ve been here many times and always enjoyed the chicken platters, but one day I realized, my god, THEY HAVE SANDWICHES. YES. Score one for sandwiches everywhere. Of course, the sandwich is roasted chicken. It comes on a little bed of lettuce, tomatoes and onions, wrapped in the same warm toasted pita’s that you get with the chicken platters. It is delicious. It is fast (5 minutes). It is cheap ($6.75).

If you are in the loop go to Chicken Planet (21 W Jackson Blvd, Chicago, IL). Get the chicken sandwich. Sit in the park. Eat and find peace.

I hope all planets taste like this:

Delicious

Corned Beef

Pastrami

Turkey

Chicken

• Fried Pizza Dough
• Grilled Chicken
• Ancho Chili Sauce
• Sliced Avocado
• Tomato Slices
• Shredded Lettuce
• Red Onion Slices
• Mayonnaise

Although the pairing of chicken and avocado is less than inspired, and somewhat tired, the real star in this equation is the pizza dough. Whatever chef thought to wrap any sandwich in fried pizza dough is a culinary titan of promethean proportions. Each bite into the soft buttery dough, still warm from the fry-o-lator, is like an extra day spent in the womb. The first downfall is that the filling of this delicious dough was so mundane. Although the ancho chili sauce shows promise of excitement the ingredients never let it come to fruition. How about stuffing this with a tasty Philly Cheesesteak or seared tuna?

The other major downfall is that due to poor design, layering tomato-on-avocado-on-shredded lettuce-on-mayo-on ancho-chili sauce and the pita-like nature of the sandwich shape, even the most cautious and experienced CounterForce technician will be left with a plate full of remnant ingredients. Sadly, these include delicious avocado and red onion pieces that have been needlessly forsaken. Despite these downsides, the fry-o-lated pizza dough is promising sandwich technology that will hopefully, one day, see a practical and useful application.

Toothpicks: A classic touch on a modern sandwich.

Stack ‘em high you red-skinned warrior.

Fallen Soldiers. (Off in the distance taps is playing.)

Both of these were delicious, crunchy and decently balanced. Neither of them had any trouble staying together, thanks to the pressing and cheese. Both were filling and left the eaters tapping their belly purring ‘tastycakesssss.’ Which is exactly the response a good sandwich should induce.

In order of appearance:
“Prosciutto and Mozzarella with sundried tomatoes, chopped basil, and a touch of olive oil”
“Genoa Salami with fresh mozzarella, roasted pepper tapenade and sundried tomato and basil mayo”

Unfortunately, they first raised prices to make ends meet; then they made so much money that they moved up the block to 14th st (from 12th). Odd how those things go together. Anyhow, their new place is massive. They have 4 gigantic communal seating benches, rows of drink coolers, huge spreads of impulse-buy snacks and crunchy things in bags. More importantly, the sandwiches have lost their love.

I sampled their flagship sandwich (an old favorite), the ‘press chicken with avocado’ with cheddar and chipotle mayo. It used to be delicious. This time the avocado slices were replaced with some watered down ‘avocado spread’, the chicken was stacked en masse and the entire thing became a crunchy vehicle for the chipotle mayo, which was about all I could taste.

My companion had the cream cheese and lox with cucumbers sandwich, which he kept remarking had ‘way much bread.’ Obviously, just look at that thing! It should have been served on a bagel or maybe some carved out french bread.

If you’re nearby and want a sandwich, visit Thai Me Up or Bite (soon to be covered) just down the block.

Pressed Chicken w/cheddar and chipotle mayo:

Cream Cheese with Lox and Cucumbers:

Simple enough:
- tomato
- lettuce
- chicken salad