I have no idea what the name means. Maybe you’re supposed to stand up when you eat? Why bother with the seats then? Was “Sit” taken? Maybe it’s their screenname and Stand1 through Stand3 were already taken? It feels like they knew they were opening a boring burger joint and tried to spruce it up with a super-modern name.

Cynicism aside their menu is obviously loaded with protein: lots of beef patties, cheese, bacon and eggs piled onto buns ranging from $5 to $15. I was starving (hungover) and went all the way by ordering the big kahuna: “Bold Burger”: Brioche, two 7 oz. beef patties, applewood smoked bacon, sauteed onions, American and cheddar cheese, pickle, tomato, chipotle sauce, fried egg for $15.

The server said they only serve it well-done because otherwise it falls apart, gross. It’s so big you can’t get your mouth around it and, come on, you can’t eat a big ass burger like that by taking little pansy bites off the bottom! Regretfully, I put it down and used a knife and fork, truly a sad fate for a hamburger. The bun was pleasantly soft but the beef was grossly over-cooked. The cheese and bacon were tasteless and added a little texture to mix up the chewy ground beef. I realized as I was stuffing bite after bite of over-cooked beef patty and cheese into my face that it’s never a good idea to see ground meat. Sausages and hamburgers should always be shrouded in bun, without it they just look gross all mealy and grey! Aside from the obvious food-coma, the burger was pretty bland.

My friend got the more traditional “Bacon & Egg Cheeseburger”: Beef, crispy applewood smoked bacon, cheddar, hard-boiled egg mayo for $12. He says that the best part about it was that the fillings didn’t fall off the bun. It doesn’t get much more boring than that, not even a word about the taste. Not good Stand4, not good.

I wouldn’t go back except maybe to actually stand up and have a beer.

Poor execution really kills them here:

I know I asked for it, but look at that:

It’s absurd:

How petite by comparison:

Not much, I decided. Thankfully I was right, all is well in the limb department. More importantly the little buggers were delicious. L’Orange Bleu (430 Broome St, New York, NY) is a Moroccan-ish restaurant in SoHo that has a wonderful oyster special that I can never resist. They have tables outside that are perfect for watching the parking lot across the street or hoping some anorexic models walk by. After you have a few happy-hour oysters, get these delicious mini-burgers. I expected them to be cooked gray and be a little chewy, after all what do Moroccan’s know about mini-burgers? Everything. These were perfectly cooked to medium, not too greasy and complimented my Sunday fear-test perfectly. Free yourself from the media terror, eat mini-burgers!

(Disclaimer: I have no idea how safe the meat is, but it taste delicious.)

Better quality than I expected for a fairly simple dish:

Fresh:

Upclose (No E. Coli here!):

Let’s savor the irony for a moment: a Korean hot dog chain named “New York Hot Dogs” opens in Korea offering New York-style dogs, does well, and finally opens a branch in New York and serves Korean-style hamburgers. Is it opposite day?! Do people always want what they don’t know? I’m lost. Enough cultural confusion, back to the sandwiches; I tried both the kimchi-bulgogi hamburger (free, usually $5) and the bulgogi hot dog ($6). Both were good, but the hamburger was fantastically spicy thanks to the kimchi. I love bulgogi as much as the next, but on top of a hot dog it was just savory meat overload. It was so heavy and meaty I could barely finish it (also I had just eaten the hamburger). The hamburger, by contrast, was fantastically cooked to medium-rare, topped with all kinds of delicious sauces and had an intriguing spicy, meaty, cabbage taste. It was wonderful and is quite a bargain for $5.

Go forth and savor the kimchi-burger!

Decently prepared ingredients and a slightly complex than usual:

Fresh Burger. I have no idea why they mix in regular lettuce or cabbage with the kimchi:

Bitten Burger:

Hotdog, boxed:

Meat overload:

I have seen the face of an angel.

Where’s the meat?

There’s the meat!

Blurry but delicious.

Paul’s Palace is a cheap burger joint, with shtick, attitude and lots of encouraging signs on the walls that say things like “I HOPE YOU ARE HUNGRY.” These “aggro eating” places can be fun, but only if the food is delicious, otherwise it just comes off as dirty and cheap. Paul’s claim to fame is 1/2lb beef burgers, starting at just $4.05. I loaded mine up with pepper jack cheese and bacon (~$8.50). While the idea was great, the burger fell apart in my hands. The tiny mass-produced bun soaked in the burger grease and immediately liquefied. The patty itself was massive. Unfortunately, it had horrible consistency and tasted really mushy, easily falling to pieces. (Mushy patties make me wonder what happened to make it so mushy? Are they soaking them in water/oil to add weight?) When it fell apart it looked really revolting, all that mushy ground chuck covered stuck to pieces of iceberg.
Lessons:
Restaurants: Don’t let the eater ever see the inside of any ground meats, they are meant for private viewing only.
Eaters: Look away!

In the end, I stuck to my journalistic instincts and finished the beer and fries. I thought it would make me sick. Thank god it didn’t. Instead I felt like taking a nap for the next 4 hours. Not always a bad feeling. Go only if you’re ready to binge/nap and maybe throw up in your head when the massive soggy burger falls to pieces in your hands.

An aside: Our waitress was insane. Literally. At one point she stood on a table and did a little song and dance. There were only 3 seated tables, who dances for such a small audience and no tips?

Separate it doesn’t look that big:

Snakes can unhinge their jaw to swallow huge prey whole: