First of all, the shop is adorable. The menu is hand written (and never actually says ‘Crosby Connection’). The whole endeavor is the concession stand at the theatre and the actual ’sandwich shop’ part is really just a counter for the owner (Joey Cramarossa) to prepare sandwiches. He does each one with a visible amount of love, trying to hurry to keep the line short, but still putting heart into each one. He’s also got this amazing gruff and calm demeanor but this isn’t SimplyAttitudes, so I’ll let you discover that for yourself.

I tried the Suze Special for $7.00: prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, fresh tomatoes, sweet roasted peppers, avocado, basil, virgin olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. I don’t usually appreciate mozzarella in sandwiches, too often it’s just cold and slimy (ever been to Cosi?), but in this case it was room temperature and absolutely beautiful. The bread was fluffy and mild, keeping everything together. The tomato and avocados were perfectly ripe and their combination with thin slices of prosciutto was buttery and amazing.

Next chance I get, I’ll be back to try another. You should too.

It’s got it all:

Ahoy matey, something spotted on the brig:

Thar She Blows:

Delicious, Tender Whale Meat (not really, don’t attack me PETA):

This is where the sandwich seeker strikes gold. They will make you a sandwich with any combination of meat and cheese, with any number of toppings and spreads, for the same price. Want roast Kobe beef? Super-duper aged Manchego? It won’t cost more than 9 bucks. Throw in their laundry list of available toppings (arugula, red onion, avocado, fig spread, premium mustards, chutney, et cetera), and you have a huge variety of possible sandwich combinations. I haven’t picked a bad one yet. And they’re big – the photo below shows only a half sandwich.

They’ve recently started making their own pastrami, and while it’s certainly not Katz’s, I find it pretty addictive when paired with deliciously creamy Bucheron goat cheese and slightly sweet fig paste. The staff is always willing to recommend a good cheese for your chosen meat, and they’ll let you sample before committing to a sandwich. It’s also worth noting that they sometimes run out of their tasty Sullivan Street Bakery bread toward the end of the night, but you can bring in your own and they’ll put a sandwich on it. They will also heckle you (rightfully so) if you don’t get any beer, so stock up on libations to go with your pastrami.

As a bonus, the store sells a variety of incredible ice cream sandwiches, appropriately branded Shameless. Il Laboratorio del Gelato flavors nestle between homemade brownie or blondie cookies, which are made with beer. The cookies are chewy enough to hold the sandwich together, but soft enough to allow (relatively) easy eating – I say relatively because these babies are so huge, it’s hard to take a full bite unless you’re blessed with jaw-unhinging powers.

While customizable, Bierkraft sandwiches scored high in both strategy and execution:

Pastrami, Bucheron goat cheese, fig spread, red onion and arugula:

Dulce de Leche gelato and pecan blondie cookie:

First up is the ubiquitous sandwich chain Blimpie. You know them, they’re on every street corner with bright green and yellow signs that make you wonder “Is that where fat people are? Isn’t it mean to name a restaurant after fat people, especially in THIS city?” I ordered the Blimpie Best, which ran me $4.65, which is incredibly cheap. Really, considering it claims to include: “Slow-cured ham, salami, cappacola, prosciuttini, provolone with tomatoes, lettuce, onion, vinegar, oil and oregano.” That makes it sound rather grand and sprawling! Unfortunately sprawling it is not, it’s really just a little pile of thinly sliced meats with the regular topping of cheese, shredded lettuce, tomatoes and onions on top. Blah, how drab. I know recessions are bad, but do they have to be this dull?

The price is right, the taste is … bland. Very, very bland. In fact, the only thing I could taste through the thick bread is cold and mustard. All those fancy meats melt together into a flavor of cold. No real flavor, just cold. In addition to mustard and cold flavors, I got a few crunches from the lettuce. To be honest, I was a little surprised that the Blimpie Best wasn’t worse. I didn’t get sick or feel gross afterward and went right on humming (“Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done!“). This sandwich is purely subsistence food, there is no love for sandwiches or flavor or anything eaters want other than getting calories. Then again it’s just under 5 bucks. Are there better sandwiches out there for $5? Most certainly!

Blimpie Best is not good, but it’s got a decently many ingredients:

Not quite the unpacking experience of an iPhone:

Just like in the adverts!

See how stiff the bread is:

BB’s wins the award for most-focused sandwich shop. Their menu has only one thing on it: cheesesteaks. I love this kind of focus! They also sell sodas and chips, but those must be there just to placate vegetarian friends of steak lovers. BB’s is tucked in a little shop that it shares with a cupcake store. How bizarre? Maybe the cupcakes are for the vegetarian friends? Seems like it’d be better to share the store with a cap store, or a knife store or something more manly like a WWE wrestling ring.

BB’s cheesesteaks ($5) are a bit different. Most cheesesteaks are served on a long roll, sliced lengthwise and stuffed with grilled steak and cheese whiz. Real cheese, onions and mushrooms are optional. BB’s cheesesteak is served on a kaiser roll with american cheese, onions and some kind of magic sauce. In most cheesesteaks, the meat and cheese flavor is all there is and it’s completely overpowering. In BB’s you get a lot of other flavors. There’s not nearly as much meat as usual can you can barely taste the cheese since it’s a tiny little sliver melted into the huge roll. The secret sauce loses some of it’s allure when you discover it tastes like ketchup. Most cheesesteaks are so big you want to plant your face in the second half and take a nap. Not BB’s, these are normal sized and you can get up and keep walking around the west village afterward, looking for old LPs, “tobacco use only” pipes, or fingerless gloves, because that’s all they have for sale. The sandwich is good, but feels more like a “house signature” deli sandwich, than a supremely refined cheesesteak.

All those differences aside, BB’s cheesesteaks are tasty little sandwiches. For $5 you get a sandwich that won’t debilitate you, a variety of flavors and a few minutes to consider their aggro slogan. No, it’s not the “Best damn cheesesteak”, hell, it’s not even really a cheesesteak! Sorry, BB, you’re out of the running. Nice sandwich though.

The roasted onions and ’secret sauce’ make it a higher strategy than most, but the boring ingredients make it lower than average execution:

Their convenient dissection:

Served on a little plastic plate:

The angle makes it look bigger than it is:

Look how big the roll is!

Back to the Herring! It’s served filleted with some chopped onions, boring pickles and a little mayonnaise in a soft hot-dog bun. It’s cold and a bit mushy, but has a refreshing freshness and bite from the onions and pickles that it’s a pleasure to eat. It also helps that it’s incredibly soft and I could probably eat it without teeth. I had one and a half before getting a little grossed out at the lack of texture variation. It’s definitely worth trying, but not something that I’m clamoring for more of. Then again, I’d love to try the same thing made with tuna or salmon…

See the softness?:

It’s soft and fresh from the dryer:

Softness exposed!

Come Closer, Closer…

This morsel is gravlax with capers, crème fraiche and a greens on a ciabatta roll (5.5 Euros). It was delicious. While I could do without the annoying inclusion of those frizzy greens on top, the capers, creme fraiche and gravlox created a beautiful, smooth symphony of happy. The gravlox was tender and fresh, the creme fraiche was smooth and wasn’t heavy at all. All told, it was one ‘wich I’d love to repeat for lunch, oh, about 6 days a week.

And for 5.50 Euros? Hell, for 5.50 Euros, this is a ‘wich that everyone can appreciate 6 days a week!

Eater-Vision:

Bird-Vision:

Mini-Eater-Vision:

Paul’s Palace is a cheap burger joint, with shtick, attitude and lots of encouraging signs on the walls that say things like “I HOPE YOU ARE HUNGRY.” These “aggro eating” places can be fun, but only if the food is delicious, otherwise it just comes off as dirty and cheap. Paul’s claim to fame is 1/2lb beef burgers, starting at just $4.05. I loaded mine up with pepper jack cheese and bacon (~$8.50). While the idea was great, the burger fell apart in my hands. The tiny mass-produced bun soaked in the burger grease and immediately liquefied. The patty itself was massive. Unfortunately, it had horrible consistency and tasted really mushy, easily falling to pieces. (Mushy patties make me wonder what happened to make it so mushy? Are they soaking them in water/oil to add weight?) When it fell apart it looked really revolting, all that mushy ground chuck covered stuck to pieces of iceberg.
Lessons:
Restaurants: Don’t let the eater ever see the inside of any ground meats, they are meant for private viewing only.
Eaters: Look away!

In the end, I stuck to my journalistic instincts and finished the beer and fries. I thought it would make me sick. Thank god it didn’t. Instead I felt like taking a nap for the next 4 hours. Not always a bad feeling. Go only if you’re ready to binge/nap and maybe throw up in your head when the massive soggy burger falls to pieces in your hands.

An aside: Our waitress was insane. Literally. At one point she stood on a table and did a little song and dance. There were only 3 seated tables, who dances for such a small audience and no tips?

Separate it doesn’t look that big:

Snakes can unhinge their jaw to swallow huge prey whole:

Unfortunately, they first raised prices to make ends meet; then they made so much money that they moved up the block to 14th st (from 12th). Odd how those things go together. Anyhow, their new place is massive. They have 4 gigantic communal seating benches, rows of drink coolers, huge spreads of impulse-buy snacks and crunchy things in bags. More importantly, the sandwiches have lost their love.

I sampled their flagship sandwich (an old favorite), the ‘press chicken with avocado’ with cheddar and chipotle mayo. It used to be delicious. This time the avocado slices were replaced with some watered down ‘avocado spread’, the chicken was stacked en masse and the entire thing became a crunchy vehicle for the chipotle mayo, which was about all I could taste.

My companion had the cream cheese and lox with cucumbers sandwich, which he kept remarking had ‘way much bread.’ Obviously, just look at that thing! It should have been served on a bagel or maybe some carved out french bread.

If you’re nearby and want a sandwich, visit Thai Me Up or Bite (soon to be covered) just down the block.

Pressed Chicken w/cheddar and chipotle mayo:

Cream Cheese with Lox and Cucumbers: